Pacing Onself

I wrote a rather hasty blog entry last night and posted the link to Facebook. I am somewhat elated about putting myself out there again, but also a bit overwhelmed because now I feel like I have to follow through.

If you know me a bit, you might think that I have a tendency to jump into things. You would be correct. I am a wee impulsive and initially energetic about a lot of things because I think I can do just about anything. This trait has usually served me well in life, but it does get me into stuff that a more calculated person might not involve themselves in. Or, I start a project and then have to re-do something because I didn’t think it through well enough ahead of time.

But this blog. No. I want to write, and writers write. So here I am writing. The blank page will face me each day and I will attempt to stare into the void of whiteness and not blink. Yes. For some reason my mind/imagination is having a staring contest with the great Nada. Anyway, (note to self...stop using “anyway;” note to self...stop using ‘...”) I am right now proctoring the great standardized test known as the SAT to 29 junior students. Isn’t life peachy? Well, yes, actually. For some of these students, this test is their entry ticket into a more educated world. A few of these folk will get a score that earns ‘em some cash and perhaps be the first in their families to get a college degree. That’s something to celebrate, right?

Now standardized testing has its biases definitely, and I ain’t in love with the testing culture we got going on in the U.S.; but, I think we ought to share some sort of common set of tests that help determine our skills, abilities, and talents.

The thing is, there are all sorts of intelligences out there and a test like the SAT as the “only measure” of success is bunk. What about the physically precocious people who can dunk a basketball or the mechanically inclined who can diagnose why my car isn’t working? What about those with a knack for art, communication, or music? Where are the tests for that stuff? Don’t we devalue that intelligence by not “testing” for it?

Life is more than academics, but certainly we all need ourselves a basic education. What am I really saying? I guess I’m trying to decide on the value of standardized tests. Should this be a school priority? My conclusion: Nah. There are more important things to be doing than filling in the ovals. And alas, I am part of the system that reinforces this testing culture.

I didn’t want to diatribe about the SAT. Technically, I don’t think I should be writing at all right now, but rather be walking around the testing room monitoring.

I really wanted to write about pacing oneself. That is the title of this entry. I had a hard time falling asleep last night because I was all excited about writing and ideas and this blog and life. I was on fire with ideas, but it was 11:00 and I wanted to go to bed so I tried to shut my mind down to sleep. I “cut off” my thoughts because of practicality.

Would a better, more creative writer/person listen to all those jumbly thoughts, get themselves out of bed, write the ideas down and go to sleep at like, 3 a.m.? Or did I do right by calming myself down and getting a decent sleep?

I don’t know about you, but I tend to pace myself in life. I am in it for the long haul. Honestly, I think I’d like to live to 100 at least. A nice even-keel seems like the best way to navigate choppy waters. (Does that even make sense?)

Now, we’ve all heard that life is a marathon, not a sprint. But speed is involved in a marathon too, folks. The faster you run a marathon, the better marathoner you are, right? It’s a competition, after all. That is a way of thinking about that race. There are people that run 26.2 miles to win it. There are also people that run 26.2 miles just to finish 26.2 miles. Both are accomplishments. Which is the right approach to running that race for me?

There are levels and levels and layers and layers regarding nearly everything in life. Small actions and behaviors accumulated over time can lead to dreams and huge results. I understand this and try my best to apply this knowledge. I also know an accomplishment for some is basic for others.

But when, how often, should one just completely exert oneself, throw caution to the wind and just go until broke, until there is nothing left, i.e. sprint a marathon? Because I also have experienced the feeling of unlimited possibilities, having more in the tank than expected, over-achieving/accomplishing more than you dreamed possible. If you focus on sprinting the marathon (running it as fast as you can), well then, most likely you will run the fastest marathon you possibly can. Should we be approaching everything with this attitude?

Unfortunately for me, I got me some limits. I can’t do it all. I can do great things, but I have to amble along and pace myself. I have to discipline myself, carefully choosing what to focus on.

And to bring it all full circle sorta, I have a tendency to flit from thing to thing. I have good starting energy, but sometimes lack the energy or enthusiasm to follow through. I try out a lot of stuff, but then realize I shouldn’t be focusing on that stuff.

And certain areas of life deserve to be priorities. I feel a responsibility to my health and general well-being to get decent sleep each night. Perhaps I won’t run the fastest or greatest marathon, but I know I’ll finish?

Hopefully some of these ramblings have made sense. The hour of testing is now done and I need to read some SAT instructions, so blog entry done. Burn bright, ya’ll. Burn bright long time too.